Is it really important to buy her the biggest diamond? Or buy him the most expensive champagne? We might think more moolah will impress our boo, but research shows it won’t necessarily improve the quality of our relationships. In fact, it could even make them worse.
A researcher in Manhattan, USA has discovered that money is one of the leading causes of relationship problems for couples – regardless of how much money is involved.
“In the study, we controlled for income, debt and net worth,” said Sonya Britt, Assistant Professor of Family Studies and Human Services, and Program Director of Personal Financial Planning at the University of Kansas. “Results revealed it didn’t matter how much you made or how much your were worth. Arguments about money are the top predicator for divorce because it happens at all levels.”
Ms Britt said financial planning was a smart way for couples to approach the matter. Making long-term plans for joint savings could increase confidence, reduce stress, and therefore decrease strain on personal relationships.
Daniel Gilbert, an expert on happiness from Harvard University, explains that money is really only a means to an end anyhow.
“We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends, and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends,” he said.
A study published in the Journal of Socio-Economics reported, “relationships are worth more than US$100,00.” It claimed to find that increased socialising was worth up to an extra US$120,000 a year, whereas actual income changes “bought” significantly less happiness.
George Valiant, the director of a 72-year study on happiness, identified good relationships early in life as the key factor for peace of mind later on. He said that 93% of people in the study who were happiest at age 65 had been close to a sibling when they were young.
He described his findings very simply.
“The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people,” said Mr Valiant.
